Someone Pay Me Already!

I network, socially, often. I have Twitter apps and Facebook apps and Yelp apps and all kinds of apps and some of them don't even work. I post "hilarious" updates and statuses and photos and links and revel in the comments and the conversations I have with my friends and family about them. My boyfriend, however, does not think it's as hilarious because I'm typically posting these hilarious updates via my phone while he is present. We both work long hours, he works Saturdays, too, so I guess I can see why he might be a bit irritated, but when your girlfriend is as hilarious and entertaining as I am, I really think he should just let it slide.

A few days ago it occurred to me that if I was getting paid to write hilarious things and post awesome status updates about homeless guys in the bowling alley dancing to Boyz II Men, he could never be mad at me again! So I asked him, "Greg, if I was getting paid to do all of this, would I still be in trouble?" and he said, "No." And thus, my quest begins.

I have always wanted to be a writer...of some sort. I "published" my first book when I was in 1st grade and had my first poem actually published when I was about 6. In retrospect, I'm sure everything I wrote back then was total garbage and everyone was just being nice because I was trying to be a writer at such a young age, but the groundwork was laid. Since then, I've had a number of random, totally-unrelated-to-writing jobs and have really enjoyed a few of them, but have never really found anything I want to be married to. Writing is the one thing I keep coming back to. Unfortunately, as most people know, finding a job where you actually get paid to write is very, very, very, very difficult; hence, my quest. I figure, if it doesn't work out, what the heck. I gave it a shot and am no worse off than I was before AND a few people got to read some of my completely insane life stories that could only happen to me.

If you want to pay me to write, please contact me. I'll take your money. If you don't, no problem. Enjoy the free laughs.