Wednesday, November 30, 2011


As some of you (hopefully not many though because I get anxiety when I think about people I actually know reading any of this) already know, I recently got engaged to my longtime beau after years of trickery. He really has no idea what he's getting himself into. Although he has read my maybe he does. As we all know, your wedding day is pretty much the best you're going to look in all of your adult life and requires much pain and torture to get back to your 20-year-old-fighting-weight. This realization hit me the night of our engagement when I decided my arm looked obese in every photo we tried to take. Because of this realization, I have started a year and a half quest to get back down to my fighting weight and relinquish fat arm pictures to 10 years from now where they belong.

So far, this quest has not been easy. I have decided to take the traditional route of "eating healthy and working out". Thanksgiving really got me off to a great start on that, too, when I gained 5 pounds in 5 days. A true success...if I were getting married in Uganda. Any woman in America knows about Lean Cuisine and I have really tried to stick to these for my lunches. It is, indeed, "lean"; however, I'm not yet sold on the idea of it being "cuisine". I've probably eaten 200 Lean Cuisines in my life and have never enjoyed one. But I keep eating them in hopes they will make me look like the aforementioned Barbies below for at least one day. Recently, I decided to really indulge myself and go with the cheese ravioli Lean Cuisine. The photo looks so luscious and wonderful on the box, what with the herbed ricotta filling and all. And then you make it in real life (although I use the term "make" pretty loosely, since you just put it in the microwave for, like, 4 minutes) and it looks like this:
Mmmm...cheesy, saucy, "cuisine"

SIX raviolis. SIX. And all six of them taste like cardboard. No wonder you can lose weight eating the damn things. Not only is there hardly a bite of food in the tray, but it tastes like the box it came in, possibly worse.

Although I know the end results will be worth it and I'll be so glad my upper arms don't look fat in all of my wedding photos so I won't have to obsess about it for the next 50+ years, the road to fitness is a real bitch.

Goodbye forever, Taco Bell... Well, at least for the next year and a half.

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