Thursday, January 19, 2012

An Actual Conversation with My Sister (and also why I shouldn't have babies)

The following is an actual conversation between my sister and I after I saw photos of a friend's newborn baby on Facebook...with a LOT of hair. (Please keep in mind that this was a gchat, in case it seems like someone is a little *ahem* slow.)

me:  isn't it weird that babies are born with hair?
like, you have hair growing INSIDE of you!?
and fingernails and shit?
creeps me out
 Liz:  they have fingernails, too
 me:  exactly
and penises
 Liz:  dude
they're little people
me:  you could have a penis growing inside of you
 Liz:  what do you think they'd look like/have
also true
 me:  I don't even know
the whole thing creeps me out

1 comment:

  1. It freaks me the hell out too. The whole idea of being pregnant makes me nauseated, not to mention the whole raising something that I can't put in a cage at night. What I've learned from medical school: pregnancy permanently alters a woman's body for the worse. Your vag is never the same and don't get me started on all the structural decompensation of your spine and whatnot. In old medical texts, pregnancy is actually referred to as a "parasitic infestation."

    I think what sealed the deal for me was what I was working in a hospital pharmacy. I asked why we kept burn spray and hemorrhoid pads up in labor and delivery. Then they went on and on about the destruction that occurs to your nether regions during the "miracle of birth."

    No thank you. If I ever get that baby itch, I'm adopting. And if I ever happen to get a parasitic infection, my significant other has my permission to push me down a flight of stairs.