Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The World is Ending and I Have Proof

In case you didn't know yet, the world is ending. It has nothing to do with 2012 or cults or aliens, though. It has to do with Snooki. And The Situation. And even the beloved Pauly D. The entire Jersey Shore cast has forsaken us to doom by becoming Christmas ornaments.

I came across these Christmas monstrosities at my local CVS one evening and almost vomited in my mouth. Seriously? This is what the world is coming to? I don't really mind the non-Christmas Christmas ornaments that depict pop culture icons like "I Love Lucy" or Elvis or even the ones with football players on them because even some football players have notable talents or skills, but Jersey Shore? Seriously? This is who people want hanging on their trees? No names who became "famous" by acting like drunken idiots and putting a bad name with an entire group of people? Awesome.

I have to admit that if I were still in college (and drinking heavily) I would probably purchase the whole lot just to make a White Trash Christmas Tree; complete with the entire cast of Jersey Shore, some Natty Light beer cans strung up, strands of lights that flash and only partially work, possibly even some used cigarette butt garland. I think that's a tree that I could really be "proud" of, but it seems like one of those things where you really have to go full steam, or not at all. One Snooki ornament could be enough to ruin an entire tree.

It seems that every year Christmas gets further and further from the point and closer and closer to the end of the world. The Jersey Shore ornaments are just the first sign that we're doomed. What's next, big box electronics retailers making fun of Santa in their commercials?! Uh oh....

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